Trust

It's a sad thing to lose trust in someone.

Focus

If the world ended in five years
In twenty years
How would I feel
If I never get married could I be content
If I continue to struggle with the darkness
Can I continue to find happiness even while I bear it
I will continue to have ups and downs
There are days when I don’t want to think about the future
About tomorrow or five years from now
Days I wish my world would have already ended

It's on those days that I need to stay focused
Focused on my Father who loves me unconditionally
Who will provide and help me through the dark times in my life
He will never let me down
I long to draw close to him, giving over everything
I love him more than anything and am so thankful for what he's done
Thankful for his son
It's the most important relationship in my life
And I want to work on it more than any other

Today is a bad day. Why? Because I can’t stop thinking about things. Last night something happened and it made me start thinking a lot. So much so that I didn’t get a whole lot of sleep. In the past 6 months I’ve had a few relationships end. It goes beyond that, though. Failed relationships are kind of the story of my life. But it’s the most recent ones that got me thinking and questioning a lot about myself. When things seem so good, why do relationships end? And beyond that, if it is going to end, why can’t it be done right? Why do people have to lie about things? I wish people would just be straight with me. The truth may hurt but I’d rather be hurt a little than lied to and hurt much worse because of it. There’s nothing like being lied to or abandoned. I don’t want to be hurt anymore. Not by anyone. What does that mean? Should I cut myself off from people? I don’t know. I’m tired of trying though. All I can do is focus on the few relationships I have that are good. The friends that I have that hopefully won't let me down.