20 Years Later

This is a poem I wrote a little over a year after my surgery.

A world that is rocked
Thrown straight from its course
For a time
A day, a week, months
leading up

Tests and more tests
Doctors and hospitals
Waiting anxiously for the next

And then it's decided
The road we will take
A baby born without problems
Now, 20 years later
I wait

I try not to think
To dwell on what's coming
Stay calm, stay in control
There's no need to worry

I walk down the hall
We say our goodbyes
And still I don't worry
I tell myself
Everything will be fine

I go through the doors
the nurse at my side
It's cold in the room
People are waiting

I climb on the table
Lay flat
They stretch my arms out to my sides

I breathe through the mask
Barely feel the needle go into my arm
I lose focus
The room fades away
with the people inside

I wake up in a different room
People coming and going
to see how I'm doing

My throat hurts
Mouth is dry
There's a pain in my chest
Aching
But I made it through ok

2 days and one room later
I've been cleared to leave
We walk to the garage
slowly

As we're driving away
I look in the mirror
For the first time it hits me
How I'm still alive
On my way home
after open-heart surgery
I break down
and cry